Genophobia
by BonneNuit
Summary: Ichigo has a fear of sex because of something that happened when he was young. He’s unable to get over it until he meets Starrk. Ichigo thinks he may have finally met someone who was actually worth it, then his past rears its ugly head. StarrkxIchigo yaoi
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach (my whites weep) or make any money off of this story (my whites wished I did so I would buy some bleach though).**

**Pairing: Starrk x Ichigo, mentioned others (very briefly in the past) with Ichigo.**

**Summary: AU set in Tokyo, Japan. Ichigo has genophobia, fear of sex, because of something that happened when he was younger which he doesn't remember. He's unable to get over it until he meets Starrk. Issues in the relationship make it hard to maintain, but sex isn't everything. FuzziBunniez wrote her own version of this called Sol Invictus- read it, it's great =D  
**

**Sexual abuse is heavily alluded to, but it will not be graphic unless specifically stated otherwise as a warning in the chapter. This is NOT going to be an 'everyone wants Ichigo' story like a lot of my other ones, and I will be keeping it as realistic as possible. Although there is going to be hinted affections, none of them are all-out like StarrkxIchigo.**

**This story contains: Yaoi, sexual content, cursing, and violence. **

**Beta'd by the kick-ass Warrior Nun- thank you!**

Genophobia: Chapter 1

When Ichigo Kurosaki was young, a bad incident happened to him that he never quite recovered from. He was kidnapped by a man and a woman who wanted revenge against Isshin Kurosaki who was a doctor that wasn't able to save their son's life, through no fault of his own. A son for a son was their reasoning.

His family was distraught and did everything they could to find him. When they finally did he was alive, but almost catatonic and in critical condition. He retreated within his mind in order to escape the horrors they forced upon him.

When he recovered and was able to function effectively again it was discovered that he had lost all memories of what had happened to protect his mind and sanity. The police had plenty of physical evidence to put the two kidnappers away in prison permanently so Ichigo wasn't required to be questioned, not that he could have answered anything useful.

It was a closed trial and only those involved and Ichigo's parents knew the full extent of what they had done to him. However they had no intention of revealing it to Ichigo who seemed perfectly fine with not remembering.

Years later, though, when Ichigo entered that stage of teenagers where sex is everything Ichigo discovered that he was afraid of anything sexual. He happened upon this realization because one of his acquaintances- that weren't quite close enough to be called a friend- kissed him. He hardly knew the girl Orihime Inoue, and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle it when she suddenly confessed to him.

He stood there, frozen like a statue and then she leaned up and kissed him. Ichigo recoiled instantly and pushed at her shoulders. He didn't use a lot of strength, but she still stumbled backward a step and stared at him with hurt in her eyes. He opened his mouth to apologize but she ran off immediately, crying.

He felt sick to his stomach with guilt although he had no interest in the girl, but he knew that their mutual friend Tatsuki would be pissed at him. Sure enough, not five minutes later she came stomping down the hallway to him and wasted no time in punching him in the face.

Ichigo couldn't help but feel that it was an unjust reaction, but he didn't say anything and just let her hit him until his confused friends dragged her off. He touched the bruises and winced, however he wasn't thinking of the pain, but about the feeling he had when Orihime had kissed him. It was complete and utter fear. Something he hadn't felt in a long time, if he had ever at all.

He didn't ever tell his parents about the incident, although he was sure his mother would understand. He was embarrassed by his feelings of fear, and even of disgust. He knew that his reaction wasn't normal, but he didn't want to admit to himself that something was wrong.

He was fifteen at the time.

Three years later and he was in college, surrounded by academics, jocks, and party girls and boys who got in with their daddy's credit card. Ichigo was quiet and studious and didn't try to draw attention to himself, but he stood out because of his orange hair which seemed to make him more popular than not.

He didn't date much because most students his age weren't interested in chaste, monogamous relationships. He tried going out with a guy named Renji, thinking that maybe it was the gender that was wrong, but that ended just as badly.

Ichigo knew that there was nothing _physically _wrong with him because he woke up with a hard on or with wetness in his boxers occasionally. It was just that he didn't find anyone sexually attractive, or even if he did in the slightest bit, he still couldn't bring himself to even kiss them.

With Renji, there was some sexual attraction and he was even able to kiss him, but as soon as Renji tried to touch him he freaked out. Renji was at first understanding and tried to take it slow, but in the end he couldn't handle not having a sexual relationship and they broke up.

Ichigo's therapist, whom he had been seeing since he decided to finally tell his parents about his problem, considered Renji to be a real break through. The therapist, Urahara Kisuke, had at first considered the idea that Ichigo was asexual, but dismissed it when Ichigo opened up to him a little more and told him about his feelings of fear and disgust.

Since Ichigo was a minor at the time and he gave Urahara permission to discuss it with his parents, Isshin and Masaki revealed the event that happened when Ichigo was younger. Urahara initially agreed with their decision to keep it secret from Ichigo, but when it became more apparent that it was getting better and affecting his life he brought the subject up with his parents again.

Isshin and Masaki wanted to tell Ichigo about what happened themselves, so they sent Yuzu and Karin over to a friend's house and sat him down. As realization dawned on Ichigo, he was naturally upset. He got angry and yelled, but his mother easily calmed him down.

Ichigo remembered what happened after the incident. He remembered waking up in the hospital, sore all over and unable to move, yet with no memory of how he got there. He was confused and afraid and his parents tried to reassure him, but it didn't help when the police had come in and tried to question him, asking weird things, but he wasn't able to answer them.

So Urahara diagnosed Ichigo with genophobia. It was hard phobia to treat because desensitization and other methods that were usually used for treatment of phobias wouldn't work with genophobia. Urahara even tried to hypnotize him in order help him face the memories, but that ended disastrously.

He didn't remember anything while he was put under, but when he regained awareness he was curled up in a ball in the corner, shaking and terrified with tears running down his cheeks. Urahara was sitting next to him and trying to soothe him while the hypnotist they had called in was on the other side of the room with a white face.

After he had calmed down, Urahara decided that facing his past wasn't going to be anything but destructive. His consensus was that the only thing that would help Ichigo was finding a nice woman (or man) that wouldn't push him for sex and that he would gradually be able to do more things with.

But now Ichigo, 23 years old and recently graduated from college, was sitting at a bar and trying to drink his sorrows away. He had gone a full six years at college to get his professional degree because that was what was expected of him, but he was already bored with his job.

His friend Kira had gotten it for him, from his boss Gin who worked for a man named Aizen Sousuke who ran a multi-billion yen business. Ichigo had never even met the man, but he was thankful none the less. The work wasn't hard, it was a desk job that just required some brains, but it paid well. Yet he wasn't satisfied with it.

As he sulked at the bar, a few women had tried to sit beside him and strike up a conversation but he showed no interest and they left in a huff. They were probably mortally offended that the young salary man wasn't interested in someone as hot as _them._

"Wrong gender?"

Ichigo looked up at the bartender who had spoken- he hadn't really paid attention to the man before, but now that he did he couldn't imagine why. He had wavy brown hair that fell just below his jaw line, a goatee, and grey eyes that drew Ichigo in instantly.

"Is that why you aren't interested?"

"Not really," Ichigo answered once he remembered how to speak.

"Not really as in yes, no, or maybe?" The man asked and Ichigo gave a slight smile.

"Maybe. I'll let you know when I figure it out."

The bartender chuckled softly and leaned against the counter with his chin propped on the palm of his hand. Ichigo gulped at the sudden closeness and leaned back slightly to gain some distance from the tall, broad man. The bartender didn't look offended though and instead gazed at Ichigo with interest.

"Someone as beautiful as you probably has a line of people waiting to help you with that, so I wonder why you don't know."

"Hm…" Ichigo took a sip of his beer and stared into the muddy depths. "Maybe I have a shitty personality."

"That wouldn't be enough to stop them," the bartender mused and studied the slightly flushed man closely. He really was beautiful, and Starrk wasn't just flattering him to get a tip. He seemed interesting although Starrk couldn't quite figure him out.

"Are you some kind of monk?"

Ichigo snorted and Starrk gave a very small smile, which was rare for him who didn't like to expend so much energy on his expressions.

"Not that then, something else…"

Ichigo shrugged at the last statement and chugged the last of his beer before standing and fishing his wallet out of his back pocket. He tossed some bills onto the bar and turned to leave by the bartender placed his hand over his before Ichigo could leave.

"Not enough?" Ichigo asked with a frown but the bartender shook his head. He tried to slide his hand away but the bartender followed the movement.

"May I have the pleasure of your name?"

Ichigo stared at him for a few moments as he tried to figure out his motive before giving in. "Ichigo Kurosaki."

"I'm Starrk Coyote."

"Do you own this place?" Ichigo asked as he remembered the name of the place was 'The Coyote.'

"Half. My sister and I went in on it, but she handles the restaurant." He still hadn't taken his hand off Ichigo's and Ichigo was starting to turn red and shift in discomfort.

"Um, was there something else?"

"Your number."

"Ah…" Ichigo thought it might have been something like that, although he didn't know why a man as handsome and seemingly self-assured as Starrk would want that from him.

"No?" The hand tightened on Ichigo's, but it wasn't in a threatening manner. Ichigo met his eyes which stared into his questioningly and he gave in.

"Alright," he said and grabbed a napkin to scribble his number onto it. "But I don't do one night stands."

"A date," Starrk said and carefully pocketed the napkin. "I promise I won't get fresh."

Ah, the magic word. "Whatever, just don't call too late."

With that Ichigo left and he could feel Starrk's eyes boring into his back. When he looked back a pouting woman was trying to gain Starrk's attention, but he was still gazing at Ichigo who looked away quickly.

He didn't seem too bad, but Ichigo had learned to be wary of people who showed attraction to him. More often than not they only wanted sex in the long run and would leave him, one or two taken his broken heart with them. He didn't trust the girls (or guys) interested in him to not want him for just sex and he had given up on dating long ago.

He walked back to his apartment, slightly unsteadily from his consumption of the alcohol. He unlocked the door and grunted as he almost stepped on his cat. He sighed and scooped the little beast up and carried him further into the house after he toed his shoes.

His cat, Taikei, dug its nails into Ichigo's shoulders and kneaded him with his claws while purring loudly. Ichigo winced and cursed at the 'affection' before dropping him onto the couch and making his way into the kitchen.

He never really liked cats, he was more of a dog person (a fact that Taikei never stopped holding against him), but his mom got him the cat so he 'wouldn't feel so lonely in an apartment by himself.' He loved his mom, but sometimes she acted just as strangely as his father. At least his sisters seemed semi-normal.

Ichigo got himself a drink of water to chase away any hang over he might have in the morning. He undressed and slipped into his bed with a sigh. The door creaked open and the demon cat padded over to the bed and hopped up.

Ichigo might not have been particularly fond of the beast, but it did keep him company. He didn't feel so alone at night with Taikei curled up against him and generating enough body heat to keep him warm in winter. It was hard to fall asleep sometimes with the cat purring so loudly, but most nights it was a comfort that he didn't want to go without.

Maybe his mother knew what she was doing sometimes, not that Ichigo ever doubted her.

His thoughts drifted to Starrk and he sighed, burying his head in the pillow. He seemed like a nice enough man, but Ichigo thought all the people he went out with were nice enough. He also had really dreamy eyes. Ichigo smiled to himself and wondered if Starrk's hair was as soft as it looked. Maybe he would find out sometime.

**LINE**

**Because someone actually commented on this (anonymously) on one of my stories, here is a long author's note. I think they must have been a minor or just ignorant because I think that it is pretty obvious that what's true for some is not true for all. **

**Drunk people and people who are only slightly intoxicated don't all act the same way. You don't automatically forget what happened the night before if you get drunk. Some people don't get bad hangovers (me included, no throwing fruit please), some people get awful hangovers. **

**Just because lots of fan fiction (and normal fiction) authors write the drunken night scenario and forgetting everything that happened, does NOT mean that's what always what happens. Yes, sometimes it could, but no, that is not the universal drunk experience. **

**Now that that's out of the way, please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Anon Review Replies- Airiki667: Yeah, this is definitely not going to be a story where Ichigo gets over it quickly. He has issues he needs to deal with and I'll try to keep it as realistic as possible. Thank you!

Dot: *gap* I know, right?

Cuteuke: haha, you know you can't pull that off! I bet you were *betrayed* by a certain part of your anatomy ;D

Beloved Shadow of Light: I think it would definitely NOT be an accident if you did that *nudge nudge, wink wink*

Toraus: Thanks!

**Because I made all of Ichigo's friends in the past really predictable, I decided to branch out a little bit and include some characters I also think he would get along with.**

**Beta'd by Warrior Nun- you know, thanks and all… *sniffles* You rock! =D**

Genophobia: Chapter 2

Ichigo sat at his desk at work and sipped his coffee as he stared at the long stream of numbers he was supposed to make sense of. He sighed and rubbed his temples, then jumped as a hand clamped down on his shoulder.

Gin Ichimaru chuckled at the reaction and leaned against Ichigo heavily with a grin that never seemed to reach his eyes.

"Ya are so jumpy, Ichi." Gin drawled and nuzzled his orange hair. "Ya really should let someone screw that tension out of you."

Ichigo stiffened and Gin stepped away with his hands lifted to show he didn't mean any harm.

"Don't worry, Ichi, I'll keep m' hands to m'self."

"Right…" Ichigo muttered and turned back to his work as Gin glided off to create havoc in some other area of the office. Ichigo rubbed his shoulder where Gin had touched and his co-worker Kira smiled at him.

"Don't mind, Gin-sama," Kira said soothingly. "He must like you to tease you so much."

"Well, then I wish he didn't like me quite so much," Ichigo said, making Kira laugh and then turn to Shuuhei who had just asked him a question.

He liked most of his co-workers, with the exception of a few like Grimmjow Jeagerjaques who just rubbed Ichigo the wrong way. They ended up having a fist fight in the parking lot when Grimmjow made a very lewd comment about his ass, but the security guard Kenpachi stopped them before it got too far (then asked Ichigo later if he wanted to go a few rounds with him).

He didn't want to admit it, but he actually felt a little happier today because of the meeting with the bartender last night. Of course he wasn't even considering dating Starrk, but he did seem like a pretty cool guy that Ichigo could get along with.

Ichigo must have been staring at his computer screen in a daze for too long because Kira walked over to shake his shoulder a little with a concerned look on his face. "Hey, Ichigo, are you doing okay there?"

"I'm fine," Ichigo mumbled and rubbed his eyes. "I just didn't get much sleep last night."

"Ah," Kira said with a smile that looked a little secretive. "Did you finally find yourself a lover?"

Ichigo choked on the coffee had had just taken a sip of and nearly spilled it on his keyboard. "Ex-excuse me?" Ichigo asked incredulously once he got himself under control. "You know I can't…" He trailed off and looked around before lowering his voice a little. "You know I can't take a lover."

"Oh," Kira said, sounding a little disappointed. "I thought maybe you had finally found the one."

"Nope," Ichigo said, feeling somewhat more depressed than he had before. "I'm still alone…" Always alone.

…

Starrk Coyote stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom. He was still in his pajamas or rather, his pajama bottoms since he didn't wear a top to bed. He should be napping. He needed to nap. But instead of napping, his mind swirled with thoughts of Ichigo. The orange haired, tipsy, yet cute, man who looked like he would be really good at cuddling.

"Hmm…" Starrk mused and held up the napkin with the cuties number on it for probably the hundredth time.

"Oi, Starrk, wake up!" His sister, Lilinette, charged in, fully prepared to have to poor ice cold water on him to wake him up. But instead she was surprised to find that Starrk was awake and staring at a napkin like it held all of life's answers. "What the hell is that?" She stormed over and snatched the napkin from Starrk who blinked and finally looked at her. "Who the hell is Ichigo?"

Lilinette was Starrk's fraternal twin. The two were like polar opposites. He was tall, she was short. He was broad and muscular while she was as skinny as a stick. He had brown hair, she had blond. He was quiet and liked to keep to himself and she was loud and outspoken. Surprisingly, they got along great. They had even opened the restaurant and bar together with no plans to drift away from each other.

Starrk shrugged and went to grab the napkin back, but Lilinette dodged with a shit-eating grin on her face. "Oh? No one important? Then you don't mind if I burn…"

Starrk was across the room and grabbing the napkin from her in an instant. She laughed at him and Starrk gave her a surly glance. "He's a customer from the bar," Starrk said reluctantly. "He looked like a lost puppy trying to find his way home and was turning away everyone that was hitting on him."

"Except for you?" Lilinette asked with a smirk and Starrk frowned.

"I got his number, but he said he doesn't do one night stands."

"Do you just want him for a one night stand?"

Starrk didn't even have to think about that to answer immediately. "No. There is something about him that I just…" He trailed off and sighed. "Do you think I should call him?"

"Tch," Lilinette clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and stood on her tippy toes to rap her knuckles against Starrk's nose. "Don't be an idiot. Of course you should fucking call him!" She left, cursing Starrk and muttering about idiotic twin brothers. They did get along, but sometimes Starrk was very glad they didn't live together. That would have been disastrous.

He took a quick shower and wrapped a towel around his waist as he towel dried his hair. His eyes settled on the napkin and he decided to hell with it. What did he have to lose? Nothing. But he could gain something or someone very special.

He dialed Ichigo's number. It rang twice and then Ichigo picked up.

"Hello?" Ichigo asked hesitantly and Starrk grinned at the sound of his voice.

"Ichigo, this is Starrk Coyote from last night," Starrk said and congratulated himself on sounding so smooth. "I don't have work tonight so I was hoping I could take you out for dinner." And maybe dessert, but he didn't say that out loud.

"Oh, er…" Ichigo trailed off and Starrk's heart dropped to his stomach. "That's fine with me. What time were you thinking?"

Starrk felt ecstatic now and his grey eyes lit up. "Six o'clock, dress casual. I can pick you up or we can meet at the Coyote."

"Six works for me, I'll meet you at the Coyote then," Ichigo said and Starrk thought he heard a bit of nervousness in his voice. But he didn't need to be, Starrk didn't… okay, actually he did bite, but Ichigo would probably like it. At least Starrk hoped he would when the time came for… dessert.

"I can't wait," Starrk said honestly and Ichigo muttered something under his breath before hanging up quickly. Starrk chuckled slightly. He bet Ichigo was bright red right now and cursing underneath his breath.

…

Ichigo was bright red and cursing underneath his breath as he thought about the date he now had with the other man. Kira was looking at him with that look in his eye again and Ichigo figured that he might as well talk to him about it now and get it off of his chest. He stood up and tugged on Kira's sleeve to signal him to follow, which of course made Shuuhei come as well.

He poured himself a cup of coffee in the break room and sighed as the two men looked at him anxiously. "I have a date tonight," Ichigo started to say, but was cut off.

"Yes!" Shuuhei yelled and punched the air enthusiastically, making Kira sigh and grab his arm to lower it. "Oops, sorry Ichi," Shuuhei apologized sheepishly and Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"We met at a bar," Ichigo started and again was interrupted.

"That's bad, Ichigo!" Kira said with wide eyes. "People in there only want one night stands!"

"He was the bartender," Ichigo said with a raised eyebrow and Kira blinked in surprise before relaxing. "I told him I didn't do one night stands and he said he just wanted a date…"

"So what's the problem?" Kira and Shuuhei asked at the same time. "Jinx you owe me a soda," Kira said quickly before Shuuhei could and he cursed with a pout. Ichigo wondered why he always drew the immature friends… But they were good ones, at least.

"So?" Shuuhei prodded after he dropped a dollar into the money jar and grabbed Kira a coke out of the fridge.

"I don't have anything to wear," Ichigo said reluctantly and they burst out laughing. "It's not funny! I haven't been on a date in a really long time and all I have are work clothes or weekend lounge clothes," Ichigo muttered with a blush.

"We're about the same size," Shuuhei said (1) and crossed his arms over his chest to study Ichigo. "I suppose you don't want anything to risqué that would lead him on, but you still want to look attractive," Shuuhei mused more to himself and Kira nodded along with him. "Come by our place after work and we'll fix you up." Shuuhei ruffled Ichigo's hair and he scowled, batting him away.

They went back to work after they refilled on fuel aka coffee, (although Kira smugly took a gulp of his coke) and unknown to them, a figure who had been listening just outside the door.

…

Ichigo went right over to Kira and Shuuhei's apartment after work just as they had planned. He hopped in the shower really quick while Kira and Shuuhei went through the dark haired man's clothes. Ichigo trusted them to pick out something nice that wasn't too fancy so he took his time shaving and drying off before walking into the room with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

Ichigo wasn't comfortable with very many people, but Kira and Shuuhei were one of the few that he trusted explicitly. He knew they would never betray him, lie to him (without a good reason), or be spiteful. He met them in college and they had been there for him throughout the whole Renji fiasco and his trips to the therapist.

He would have moved in with them as well, but as comfortable as he was around them, he didn't feel comfortable living in a house and sleeping (in separate bedrooms) with anybody that wasn't family. Yet he felt comfortable standing around in a towel in Shuuhei's bedroom as they went through his rather large wardrobe.

"Blue, purple or black would look best with Ichigo's hair and his eyes," Kira said and tapped his foot as he eyed Ichigo with his chunk of blond hair still in his face. "The pants shouldn't be too tight, though… Ichigo has the type of ass that stands out and you don't want your date taking that as an invitation to get fresh."

Ichigo snorted and stepped into his socks and briefs before grabbing a random pair of black slacks from the pile. He held them up to his waist and sure enough, they would fit. He could see Shuuhei and Kira wanted to protest, but it was already getting to be about the time he should leave. He just out his same shoes back on since they matched his belt, anyway and grabbed the shirt they decided was perfect.

It was so dark purple that it almost looked black and wasn't skin tight, but it would definitely cling a little bit to his curves. There was a bit of a v-neck, but it actually drew attention to the silver chain he had around his neck.

"You look good," Shuuhei said with a nod. "Handsome, but unassuming."

"Attractive, but not in the least bit suggestive or slutty."

"Thanks, guys," Ichigo muttered, embarrassed a little bit by their words. He grabbed the leather jacket, Shuuhei's baby that he was letting Ichigo borrow on pain of death if something happened to it. He looked hot and he knew it. He just hoped that he didn't look too hot that Starrk would want to jump him…

…

"I don't know what to wear," Starrk muttered to Lilinette whose eye twitched.

"What are you, an adolescent girl?" Lilinette snapped and Starrk shifted from foot to foot. "All right, I'll help you since you're obviously and idiot. Now where are you going for dinner?"

"The Indian food place that has all the good curry," Starrk said and stared forlornly at his closet. "I'm meeting him at the bar at 6."

"You really like this guy, don't you?" Lilinette asked as she rooted through his clothes. "Even though you only met once."

There was a slight pause before Starrk answer. "Yes, I do like him."

"Why?"

It was a simple question, but almost impossible to answer. "Because his hair is an unusual color, yet obviously natural, but he didn't dye it to try and fit in. The way he spoke drew me in and made me want to actually stay awake to listen to him. Because his eyes look like they have seen too much but he is still so innocent and warm…" Starrk trailed off and he was aware that Lilinette was staring at him now. "What?"

"Sounds like love at first sight," Lilinette said with a wicked cackle that put Starrk on guard. "You better hope he feels the same, you love-sick fool."

"I don't love him," Starrk protested, but he knew he would never win an argument with Lilinette. She was a mental ninja that kicked ass and took names.

"Right," she snorted and handed him a shirt that was dark red and was so tight you could see everything on his torso that could be seen without his shirt. Lilinette told him that was the point and ordered him to put on a pair of clean jeans with a dark wash. He wore a belt buckle with a wolf on it and grabbed his jacket which was a double breasted trench coat lined with fur. He loved the damn thing and didn't go anywhere without it.

He grabbed his key on the way out and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked good. He just hoped that he was hot enough that it would make Ichigo want to jump him…

**LINE**

**(1) My character book of souls says that Shuuhei is just two inches taller than Ichigo and is only a little heavier, so Shuuhei's clothes should fit Ichigo just fine.**

**Just because Ichigo has genophobia doesn't mean he can't be attracted to someone or like them. It's just the actual sex and foreplay part of it that Ichigo is so afraid of and doesn't like.**


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sure you guys have noticed my recent lag of updates for all of my stories, and I'm going to offer you an explanation as to why. If you don't care, then skip this. I suffer from chemical depression which effects all the women in my family. I am taking anti-depressants for it, but it makes me so numb its hard for me to find inspiration, plus it also decreases sex drive. So I can either feel so fucking terrible that I just want to die to stop the pain, or I can feel nothing at all. I fucking hate it, as I'm sure you can imagine.

I'm also sorry for not getting to anon reviews this time, but I want to let you know that I do appreciate them very much and I will continue to answer them in the next chapter.

**Beta'd by da one and da only Warrior Nun- thank you!**

Genophobia: Chapter 3

Starrk was ten minutes early, but he and Ichigo arrived at the same time. Ichigo looked very attractive in his shirt that really complimented his complexion and made his skin glow. Ichigo seemed to think the same thing as him too, if the way he gave him a once over and blushed was any indication.

"It's nice to see you again," Starrk said and took Ichigo's hand in his and raised it to kiss the knuckles softly. Ichigo turned a little redder and tugged his hand away in embarrassment, but Starrk held on although he did let it drop beside him. "I was worried you gave me a fake phone number at first," Starrk mumbled and guided Ichigo out of the bar where they were receiving curious looks. Shinji, one of their workers, was bar tending that night and he gave Starrk a nod which Starrk returned.

"I thought about it," Ichigo admitted a little sheepishly. "But I'm glad I didn't, now."

"Are you anti-social or something?" Starrk asked as he held open the door of his muscle car which Ichigo gave a once over appreciatively. Starrk wondered if he should be jealous of the way he eyed the leather upholstery.

"I'm not anti-social or introverted," Ichigo finally answered when they got in the car. Suddenly it felt like they were even closer together than before in the darkness and hush of the car, then Starrk started it up and the purr eased the tension. "I just…haven't dated in a while, and my last relationship ended badly," Ichigo explained and Starrk glanced at him out of the corner of his eye before he rubbed his goatee.

"Care to explain so I don't make the same mistake?" Starrk asked and Ichigo laughed.

"If you make it to date two, I'll let you know."

Starrk got the feeling that he was going to make it to date number two, but he didn't want to ruin his chances by making assumptions or being too cocky.

"So where are we eating?" Ichigo asked and Starrk felt his mouth water at the thought.

"The Cubes, it's a modern Indian restaurant," Starrk said and was happy when Ichigo's eyes lit up.

"I've wanted to go eat there, but I haven't found the time," Ichigo confessed. "Sometime our office orders food from there for lunch or if we're working late, but it's not the same thing."

"No it isn't," Starrk agreed. "So where is it that you work, anyway? You mentioned something about the office?"

"I work for a large corporation owned by Aizen Sousuke," Ichigo said and glanced over at Starrk, taking the opportunity to study his profile without being too obvious. "My job is pretty much to make sure no one is making mistakes in other departments and there aren't any clerical or human errors in the paperwork." Ichigo laughed and shrugged his shoulders while Starrk decided that he was in love with Ichigo's laugh if nothing else. "It's pretty boring sometimes, but it pays pretty good… How about you? What do you do other than bartending?"

"I like to sleep," Starrk mused as they pulled into the parking lot and Ichigo snorted at his serious tone. "Sometimes I like to go camping just to get away from the city and breathe fresh air."

Ichigo nodded as they got out of the car and inhaled the city's air. "I know what you mean. Every year my family and I go camping in the mountains. Not in any of those cabins that tourists rent, either. We hike in a couple of miles and spend a few days living out of tents and then force ourselves to come back to civilization."

Starrk held the door open for Ichigo and their conversation stopped momentarily as the hostess greeted them and led them to their table. It was a very modern restaurant with retro seats and chrome tables. It looked good though, despite the loudness of it all.

"You haven't finished telling me what you like to do," Ichigo easily picked the conversation up against as he draped Shuuhei's leather coat over the back of the chair. Starrk enjoyed the view of more of Ichigo exposed before he caught himself staring and took off his coat as well. Ichigo gaped at him and turned crimson when Starrk caught his eye and smirked. "Is working out something you do for fun?" Ichigo asked and took a large drink of water.

"I run and do kendo to keep in shape," Starrk replied and crossed his arms over his chest, making his muscles bulge in a way that had the woman at the table next to them whimpering. Ichigo shot him a nasty look that made Starrk smile. "Mostly because my sister antagonizes me about it until I have a set routine," he said fondly.

"How many siblings do you have?" Ichigo asked just as the waiter came to take their order. Ichigo wasn't a big drinker, but he did order a glass or red wine to go with his walnut chicken curry. Starrk ordered sake and lamb.

"Lilinette and I have one older brother name Shunsui, but no younger siblings," Starrk said with a shrug.

"Are you or Lilinette older?" Ichigo asked curiously and Starrk laughed lightly.

"I'm older by four minutes."

"No shit?" Ichigo said with a raised eyebrow and the same woman who whimpered before gave him a disapproving look that he ignored.

"And before you ask, we're not identical," Starrk said as he propped his elbow on the table to scoot closer to Ichigo.

Ichigo actually laughed when Starrk said that, which made Starrk blink in confusion. "Sorry, it's just that I have two younger sisters who are fraternal twins, and I did go through high school science so I know that a male and a female pair of twins can't be identical." Ichigo grinned at Starrk and cocked his head to the side. "Unless there's something about you I don't know about."

"Hey now," Starrk said mock seriously, "if we're questioning my masculinity, I could prove it to you right here and now."

"Do try and keep it in your pants at the dinner table," Ichigo said with a grin and was surprised with the ease he discussed something remotely sexual with Starrk.

"I'll try to contain myself," Starrk drawled and then changed the subject before it turned too sexual and he really did jump Ichigo. "What about your family?"

"I just have the two sisters, thank god," Ichigo grimaced. "I love them to death, but my dad drives me nuts."

"Parents tend to do that with their children…"

"Yeah, but goat-face does these crazy things like attack me in the shower and hide in the bushes to ambush me. Luckily my mom is sane enough for the both of them."

Starrk couldn't help but snort at the antics of his father before he blinked and realized something. "Why do you call him goat-face?"

"Oh, er," Ichigo laughed and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "He has a goatee, but it's really unkempt and wild, not like yours."

"Do you like my goatee?" Starrk asked curiously and perhaps fishing a bit for compliments.

"I do like it," Ichigo said with a smile, "it suits you, I think."

"By that do you mean I am even rougher and yet ruggedly handsome?" Starrk leaned forward in his seat to say it teasingly and then lightly petted the back of Ichigo's hand before reluctantly pulling away. Ichigo turned red and propped his chin in his hand partially to answer.

"…maybe," Ichigo said teasingly. "Although perhaps more rough than rugged."

"Mmm, Ichigo, you hurt me right here," Starrk tapped his chest and mock frowned, making Ichigo laugh just as the food came. The meal was delicious and the company was even more so. Ichigo had a bit of a sarcastic personality that some people thought was cold and mean, but luckily Starrk took it to mean what he intended it to be as teasing.

Starrk had to bite his lip when they were asked if they wanted any dessert. He definitely did want dessert, but his sweet Strawberry who was sitting across the table might not take kindly to that. Starrk didn't want to ruin whatever tentative first-date type relationship. They continued talking until long after their coffee that was brought to them grew cold and they saw that they were actually starting to close the restaurant down.

Ichigo tried to pay for his half of it, but Starrk just simply and quietly closed Ichigo's hand over his wallet and pulled out his own to pay. Ichigo heart beat a little faster when Starrk's long fingers closed over his hands, and it wasn't in fear. Starrk opened all the doors for him and Ichigo began to feel like he was being treated like a woman or something. Starrk must have sensed that because he gave Ichigo a shy smile.

"I just wanted to be polite," Starrk mumbled a little and started up his car. "Give me the directions and I'll drop you off at your house. Unless you don't want me to know what you live…" The last part was said morosely and Ichigo thought that he was joking again but a glance at his face revealed he was being at least partially serious.

"I'd like it if you would drop me off at my house," Ichigo said nonchalantly and gave him directions. A thrill went down Starrk's spine while tension gripped Ichigo's. When they parked in the apartment complex and Ichigo moved to get out, Starrk laid a hand on Ichigo's forearm.

"May I walk you up?" Starrk asked hopefully and Ichigo hesitated, biting his lower lip in uncertainty. "I don't have to come in…"

Ichigo sighed and nodded which made Starrk grin a little before taking his hand away from his forearm. Starrk took Ichigo's hand in his almost casually and Ichigo gave him an uncertain glance. Starrk's returning look was anything but uncertain, however, and he gave Ichigo's hand a slight squeeze before looking where he was walking once more.

When they arrived at Ichigo's apartment Ichigo fumbled for the key and unlocked the door. Then he froze as Starrk leaned over him and braced his hand on the doorframe. "Do I get a kiss?" Starrk murmured and moved so their faces were inches apart. Ichigo swallowed and then nodded slightly. Starrk closed the remaining distance between them.

It had been a long time since Ichigo had been kissed, but he didn't think he had ever been kissed like this. Starrk cupped the back of Ichigo's head and applied slight pressure with his lips before tilting his head to the side to deepen it. Ichigo breathed quickly through his nose and reminded himself that this was Starrk and everything was okay.

Starrk purred into the kiss and moved his hand down Ichigo's back to rest on the mound of his ass and Ichigo stiffened, recoiling from the kiss. Starrk took a step back immediately and dropped his hands away, his brow furrowed as he took in Ichigo's slightly panicked look.

"Shit, sorry 'bout that," Ichigo said, looking very embarrassed. "It's…ah, maybe I'll tell you about it if you still want that second date." Ichigo laughed and rubbed the back of his neck in discomfort while Starrk relaxed a bit more.

"I'll hold you to that," Starrk said and leaned over to give Ichigo a quick peck on the lips before pulling away. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay." This time when Ichigo smiled it was a lot less forced. "I'd really like that." Hopefully he actually would and he wasn't lying to get Ichigo off his back. The people he had dated before had ditched him for the same reason when it came to getting more familiar and sexual. It seemed like Starrk wasn't that type of guy, but Ichigo had been wrong before.

He stepped inside of his apartment with a sigh and dropped his head back against the door with a thump. His lips still burned from where Starrk had kissed him and he was slowly coming down from his fear-induced adrenaline high. He hadn't gone into a full-blown panic attack because Starrk just barely touched his ass, but it was the fact that they were kissing at the time and pressed close that made it so much more sexual.

He was a little surprised that he had let Starrk even kiss him. It took him a long while to get used to someone enough to let them touch him, sexual or not. Kissing on the first date when he had just met him the day before was completely unheard of. There was something about Starrk that made him completely relaxed and he actually trusted him.

Maybe it was his soft voice and passive tone, or the way he looked at Ichigo with not just lust. Starrk looked extremely strong and powerful, if the ripped muscles obvious through the tight shirt were any indication. However, not once did he try to intimidate or use his extra height and weight advantage to tower over him. Instead he was a comfortable presence that didn't push Ichigo into anything.

In fact, Ichigo could comfortably say that the only thing he didn't like about Starrk was that he opened doors for Ichigo. He could have written it off as Starrk being old fashioned if he was a woman, but he was clearly a man so that didn't fly. Of course Ichigo preferred the polite courtesy to rudeness, but it was a little something that made him irritated in a more endearing way than angry.

Now he just had to convince his heart and his body that they didn't love Starrk. As fun and enjoyable as Starrk was, Ichigo didn't want to get his heart broken again. It hurt too damn much and Ichigo couldn't bear it.

…

About ten minutes drive away, Starrk was thinking about the same things, but in a much different perspective. He was very afraid that he had pushed Ichigo too far with the kiss and the touching. Stupid, stupid! He thought as he pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead. It was just the first date and Starrk was about to grope him.

He really hoped that Ichigo still wanted to see him and wouldn't decide he was some pervert. Alright, maybe in his head Starrk actually was a pervert. But it wasn't like he acted on his desires! If he had then he would have taken Ichigo in the restaurant.

He fantasized about just swiping everything off the table and then lifting the squirming Ichigo up to pin him down on top of it. Butter would be right there for the lube and then Starrk would plow into him with all of the restaurant watching. Starrk didn't really get off on being watched, but he loved the idea of everybody knowing that Ichigo was his and no one else's.

His imagination went wild again when he walked Ichigo to his door. Maybe Ichigo would invite him in for some dessert in a flirtatious manner while fluttering his eyes. Then when Starrk sat down on the couch, Ichigo would come out with nothing on except for whip cream.

He would say, "Are you hungry, Starrk-sama?" and Starrk would reply by devouring him whole. He bet Ichigo would scream as he pounded into the tight ass of his and cry out his name worshipfully. Then, with his cheeks flushed and his eyes glistening with desire, he would tell him he loved Starrk and that, "I'm sorry I ever pushed you away."

Starrk opened his eyes from his fantasies to realize he was very hard and still sitting on his couch. He got up with a groan and glared down at his crotch. "You and me need to have a long conversation about appropriate times to react," he scolded his hard dick, which he had named Los Lobos. It didn't say anything back, since it was just part of his anatomy. It was one thing to actually talk to his dick, but if it started to talk back then there was going to be some problems. God knows it was probably a mouthy bastard.

"If we want to get with Ichi, we need to control ourselves." His cock twitched in response to Ichigo's name and he scowled. Obviously he and Los Lobos needed to get on the same page somehow, but at the moment that seemed impossible.

"All right, Lobos, we'll settle this with hand-san."

**LINE**

**It's ironic that Ichigo decided to fall in love *cough cough* I mean, decided to **_**like **_**someone that is a nut case like Starrk =D But it's mostly all inside of Starrk's head anyways.**

**And wtf was up with the ending? lol, I don't even know… He named his dick Los Lobos, the wolves, and since it's plural he's probably talking about his balls as well, but he talks to his dick specifically because it's the 'head' of the operation ;) **

**I hope you guys get my humor, because otherwise I'm probably just a weirdo. I'd rather be a funny weirdo, for the record.**


	4. Chapter 4

This update is for all of my wonderful readers and reviewers who were concerned about me. Thank you. For the reasons of my absence you can check out my profile. I don't want to crowd this story with unnecessary author's notes... and I feel bad enough as it is I don't have time to reply to the anon reviewers, who adore just as much as those who take the time to sign in.

**As fun as it is writing high school fics, I really enjoy the more adult ones, as well. Mostly because I am at that age where I am masquerading as one and I feel more comfortable with writing in that age group. Sometimes I feel like a pervert for writing them as teenagers even though I am only 20…**

**Anyway, this is beta'd by, guess who! That's right, it's Warrior Nun! P'cha! Thanks ;)**

Genophobia: Chapter 4

Ichigo went over to his friends' apartment the day after the date since it was a day off for all of them and he needed to return the clothes. He told them all about the date, including what happened after with a blush, making Kira and Shuuhei exchange a glance.

"What?" Ichigo asked in confusion and Shuuhei sighed.

"You're definitely in love, Ichi-berry," Shuuhei said fondly and patted Ichigo on the head.

"Don't call me that." Ichigo scowled and pushed his hand away. "What do you mean, I'm in love," Ichigo said with a scoff. "I barely even know the guy!"

"Love never makes sense," Kira said with a smile and a distant look in his eyes. "You can never help who you fall in love with, and it's almost impossible to fall out of it."

"Gee, thanks for the uplifting inspiration," Ichigo said and furrowed his brow. "Now I can look forward to more pain and loneliness in my life!"

"You're such a pessimist sometimes," Kira said and planted his hands on his hips. "This is a good thing! How long has it been since the last time you fell in love? Years. Yeah, love hurts sometimes, but it's more than worth it in the long run. Don't sabotage the chance you have with this guy before it has even begun!"

Ichigo stared at Kira with an open mouth that was mirrored by Shuuhei's look. Kira blinked at them and frowned. "What?"

Ichigo was about to respond when his phone rang. It was the song that Ichigo programmed his phone to play when Starrk called which was Muse's "Uprising." He flipped his phone open immediately to answer.

"Hello?"

"Ichigo!" Starrk said, sounding like he had one too many cups of coffee. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Ichigo said and shifted from foot to foot as his friends stared at him. "You?"

"I'm doing much better now that I'm talking to you," Starrk said in a lilting tone that made Ichigo laugh. "I'm serious," he growled and Ichigo just chuckled again.

"Riiiight, so what's up?"

"Are you free this afternoon?" Starrk asked with hope in his voice. "I understand if you're not on such short notice, but…"

"No, I'm free," Ichigo said quickly, perhaps a little too quickly. Shuuhei gave him two thumbs up and Ichigo blushed and turned away from his friends.

"Do you like movies?"

"No, I hate them, I'm actually allergic," Ichigo said sarcastically.

"Oh," Starrk said quietly and Ichigo could practically see his imaginary puppy-dog ears droop in disappointment.

"I'm joking," Ichigo said in a deadpan tone, wondering how the obvious sarcasm could have been lost on him.

"Oh!" Now the ears were perked up again. "Would you like to go see one with me? We could have dinner afterward."

Dinner and a movie. That was a pretty safe date, and since the movie was during the afternoon that meant there was more of a chance there would be kids in the movie which meant Starrk wouldn't expect them to make out.

"Sounds good to me," Ichigo said and felt a little nervousness go through him. "Where should we meet?"

"I can just pick you up at your apartment," Starrk said and Ichigo frowned.

"I'm at a friend's place now, but it will only take me a few minutes to get there since I rode my bike. What time were you thinking?"

"How about in an hour?"

"That should work, I'll see you then." When Ichigo hung up the phone he felt slightly giddy with excitement and he knew it showed on his face from Kira and Shuuhei's expressions. "Um, should I dress up for dinner and a movie?"

…

Starrk was happy that Ichigo agreed to go on another date with him. That was two dates and two days, and hopefully it would continue in that manner. Although it might seem a bit excessive to others, Starrk was happy with the thought of being able to see Ichigo everyday. He wanted to learn more about Ichigo and figure out what he liked and what he didn't.

Lilinette thought he was a love sick psycho, but she thought he was a psycho before he met Ichigo so Starrk didn't put much weight into it. She did give him some advice about how to handle taking it slow with him and make him feel appreciated without seeming like he wanted to get into Ichigo's pants.

Starrk was still curious about Ichigo's reaction the night before. Maybe Ichigo just wasn't ready for that next step, which was reasonable after just one date, but Starrk felt like there was more to it then that.

When Starrk went to go pick Ichigo up he looked as beautiful as ever. He was wearing a pullover sweatshirt with a college logo on it that Starrk assumed was the one Ichigo went to. Ichigo grinned nervously when he saw him and Starrk felt his heart thump before he ignored his body's reaction.

"Hey you," Starrk rolled down his window and greeted Ichigo as he pulled up to the curb Ichigo was waiting on.

"Hey to you, too," Ichigo said before turning red when Starrk leaned over and pecked him on the lips.

"Since we're on date two now, does that mean I can call you my boyfriend?" Starrk asked seriously as he began to drive.

"Ummm…"

A glance over at Ichigo revealed to Starrk that he was gnawing on his lower lip and furrowing his brows like he was putting a lot of thought into it.

"Yes?" Ichigo answered, but it seemed more like a question.

"Are you sure?" Starrk asked dubiously even thought inwardly he was jumping for joy- something he had never actually done outside of his head. "I don't want to pressure you into anything."

Ichigo smacked him in the back of his head and Starrk grunted before rubbing the injured area with a wide eyed glance at Ichigo.

"I don't say things I don't mean," Ichigo said firmly and Starrk began to feel even happier. "But if we're going to be boyfriends, there are some things you need to know."

"Is it something we can talk about over dinner?" Starrk asked casually while his heart raced.

"As long as we talk quietly."

"All right," Starrk murmured. "So where do you want to go eat?"

"Anywhere is fine with me, I'm not exactly dressed for anywhere fancy so probably just one of the local diners."

"How about Sally's?"

"I think that would fall into the category of 'anywhere'," Ichigo said in an amused, sarcastic tone that wasn't the least bit cruel. Starrk nodded with a tinge of red on his cheeks. He always felt out of sorts around Ichigo even though he was much more suave around others. That could be because he didn't really talk to other people much, other than his sister. It was too tiring.

Sally's bar and grill wasn't completely packed when they arrived, but it was noisy enough that they wouldn't be easily overheard. The hostess sat them in a booth by the windows that was actually slightly apart from the other booths since it was just a two-seater.

Ichigo must have been there before because he already knew what to order food-wise, although he did look at the beer list before asking for an India pale ale. Starrk got a porter because he wasn't particularly fond of the overly bitter beer. Ichigo gulped half of his down right away and Starrk got the feeling that he needed a little courage for what he was about to say.

"I won't have sex with you," Ichigo said bluntly right off the bat. "I'm telling you that now so you won't get pissed off later when I refuse. If you want to have a relationship with me, that's the way it's going to be. If the… physical aspect of it is important to you, then I suggest you forget about me right now."

Starrk stared at Ichigo. He liked sex as much as the next guy, but it wasn't like he had to have it all the time. Los Lobos and Hand-san had been acquainted with each other for a long time and they didn't have any qualms about continuing their friendship.

"I still want to be your boyfriend," Starrk said without hesitation.

Ichigo looked at him rather dubiously and frowned. "I don't do open relationships. If you're with me then I don't want you having sex with somebody else… I know that's selfish because I won't be doing that with you, which is why you need to know."

"I just want you," Starrk said firmly and reached across the table to grip Ichigo's hands, then raised the knuckles to kiss them lightly. "As attractive as you are, I believe I can control myself."

Ichigo looked relieved at Starrk's words and gave him a tentative smile that made Starrk melt a little.

"Thank you," Ichigo said and Starrk wondered what had gone on in Ichigo's past that he thanked Starrk for wanting to be with him despite not having sex. "It's not like I don't… desire you." Ichigo turned his head to the side so he wasn't looking into Starrk's eyes anymore and blushes a little. "But I'm genophobic."

Starrk raked his mind for information that would tell him what genophobia was and came up with a blank. "What does that mean?" He asked, feeling a little stupid. But Ichigo didn't tease him for it and instead sighed heavily and began to chew on his lower lip again, making Starrk wonder if it was a nervous habit.

"It means I'm afraid of sex," Ichigo once again said it in a straight forward manner without beating around the bush. Starrk's heart clenched and thousands of different scenarios went through his head about why Ichigo would be genophobic. Ichigo saved him the opportunity of asking though as he continued on. He pulled his hand away from Starrk's and rubbed his temples with a sigh.

"Apparently it concerns something that I have no memories of when I was younger," Ichigo explained and Starrk felt a little better that at least Ichigo didn't remember it, although apparently it was not as though that helped. "I still go to therapy for it. I've had relationships before, but they never work out because I can never sleep with them."

Starrk knew that Ichigo would hate any pity given to him because he was a proud young man, but he did feel like Ichigo didn't deserve whatever treatment previous boyfriends or girlfriends gave him. Starrk knew right then and there that no matter what he would want to stay with Ichigo and he thought anybody would be a fool to let Ichigo go because he wouldn't, or rather couldn't, have sex with them.

"I don't think any less of you for that," Starrk said honestly and took Ichigo's hands in his again. "I won't pressure you into sex… but are kisses fine?" He asked hopefully and the smile and laugh Ichigo gave him lit up his face.

"I think you've experienced first hand that I am okay with kisses," Ichigo said with a light flush, yet kept his eyes on Starrk's clear gray ones. "Just keep your hands above the waist."

"I can do that," Starrk said, perhaps a little too eagerly because Ichigo gave him a funny look as their food arrived.

Ichigo reluctantly allowed Starrk to pay for dinner with the agreement that he would pay for their movie tickets. Starrk guessed that Ichigo had some issue about being treated like the 'woman' in the relationship, although Starrk didn't think of him that way. He considered them both to be equal, he simply liked to pamper Ichigo and show him how much he cared.

The movie was a Quentin Tarantino that was more about a thick and twisted plot with a little bit of blood and gore thrown in. Ichigo seemed to like it and Starrk supposed he might have as well if he wasn't so busy staring at Ichigo the entire time. Since they just ate both of them simply got a drink which meant their hands were free.

Starrk felt slightly obvious and ridiculous for doing this, but he pulled one of the oldest tricks in the book. He stretched his hand above his head with a yawn and casually draped it over Ichigo's shoulders while pretending to watch the movie. Ichigo turned in his seat to eye him warily and Starrk was worried at first that he would be told off.

"You know you don't have to pretend," Ichigo whispered and lifted the arm rest in between them to lean against Starrk's side. Starrk felt warmth spread through him and he tightened his hold on Ichigo. He admitted that he was slightly worried that no sex meant barely any contact, but it was obvious that Ichigo didn't mind a little bit of cuddling as long as Starrk didn't get fresh.

It was at that point that Starrk stopped paying attention to the movie. The lights flickered over Ichigo's face and Starrk's gaze was drawn to Ichigo's lips which he knew were just as soft as the looked. He wanted to kiss Ichigo, but he didn't dare in the dark theater where his actions could be misinterpreted. Ichigo glanced over at him and Starrk looked away quickly, but not quickly enough so that Ichigo didn't catch it.

Ichigo smiled to himself at Starrk's obviousness and debated about giving him a quick chaste kiss, then decided against it. Starrk might want to kiss more and they weren't teenagers who only got to make out in movie theaters because of strict parents. He'd kiss him goodnight later, though. Ichigo was slightly surprised that he actually looked forward to it, rather than feeling like it was something he just had to do.

Starrk walked Ichigo up to his apartment and Ichigo didn't flinch away when Starrk leaned down and kissed him. Instead he stood up on the tips of his toes and pulled Starrk down to deepen it. He was almost disappointed when Starrk pulled away but froze when he felt something brush against his stomach.

"Sorry," Starrk muttered and turned a little red as he stepped away. "I'm okay with not doing anything, but I can't help the way my body reacts to you."

"It's fine," Ichigo said despite how fast his heart was beating and the anxiety he felt. "I understand… Call me tomorrow, okay?" He tried not to sound hopeful but he knew it was probably obvious by the way Starrk's eyes lit up.

"Okay," Starrk said happily and bid Ichigo a good night before walking away somewhat gingerly from the hard on in his pants.

Los Lobos and Hand-san were going to become very well-acquainted indeed.

**LINE**

**I know I'm drawing out Starrk and Ichigo's everyday, mundane activities, but I really wanted to explore and develop their relationship to show the reader how Ichigo manages to get past his phobia. I also want to build up their connection as much as I can before the other more dramatic and angsty part of the plot comes in.**

**BTW George, you cutie uke you, that mention of Starrk pampering Ichigo was a little shout out to you and Damien. **


	5. Chapter 5

I apologize for the lateness of the chapter and the lack of response to the anon reviews which I appreciate so much. As some of you already know, I am having health problems which are delaying my usual consistent updates, which makes me both frustrated and depressed... For those of you who are still interested in this story and have stuck with me, thank you.

**Side couples in this chapter include HitsuguyaxKarin and JintaxYuzu. However it's only mentioned and there is DEFINITELY not anything explicit. In case you guys don't remember, Masaki is alive in this. I absolutely adore her character and she is one of the few that I wished Tite never killed. *sob* Plus Ichigo is cute as a momma's boy…**

**Beta'd by Warrior Nun- merci beaucoup!**

Genophobia: Chapter 5

Ichigo and Starrk had been dating for one month when Ichigo decided to introduce him to his family. It was a test, in a way, because he wanted to see if Starrk would still want to be with him even though most of his family members were… eccentric. Karin had grown up to be similar to their dad without the spastic personality and Yuzu had a dark side to her whenever people she loved got hurt, which she probably got from their mother.

Starrk, though, was nervous but pleased that Ichigo wanted him to meet his family. Starrk didn't have many close friends because he never put out much of an effort to have them and he wasn't confident in his ability to interact with them. But if that was what Ichigo wanted, then so be it.

What Ichigo liked the most about Starrk was probably his shy personality. Even with Ichigo there were times when he would blush and mumble under his breath while looking away. Ichigo found it to be very endearing when he did so and sometimes purposefully did thing to embarrass him to make him look like that.

Sometimes that backfired, however, like when Starrk retaliated. Of course with Starrk the way he embarrassed Ichigo was by complimenting him. He knew not to say anything sexual to tease him, but he would go on about Ichigo's beauty and talents until Ichigo was bright red and yelling at Starrk to shut up.

Ichigo had already met Starrk's family, which only consisted of Lilinette and Shunsui. Shunsui was a lazy drunkard who spent the entire time mooning over his boyfriend Jyuushiro. After a few traded insults Lilinette and Ichigo got along great and became good friends. Sometimes Starrk was actually jealous of the two because Lilinette would freely touch Ichigo all the time. Ichigo had explained before that he wasn't as averse to touching as long as it wasn't sudden and clearly not sexual, so Lilinette got to cuddle with Ichigo as much as she wanted to.

Ichigo also let Starrk cuddle with him, but usually Ichigo had to cut it off before Starrk began to…like the close contact too much. Starrk had gotten pretty good with the time, though, and he tried hard not to make Ichigo uncomfortable. Ichigo seemed to get more relaxed in his presence as well, although he never let his hands go below the waist and their kisses never got too heated.

Starrk made an effort to try and find out more about genophobia to see what he could do to help Ichigo and not freak him out. Unfortunately there was no 'cure' for it and the most Ichigo could do was to go to therapy for it, which he was already going. He also gets Ichigo slowly used to it, but more than anything Starrk was terrified of scaring Ichigo off. He was worried that if he talked to Ichigo about easing him into sex slowly that Ichigo would think he only wanted Ichigo for sex, which he definitely didn't. Yes he was sexually attracted to him, but it was his personality that he liked more than anything else.

That was why Starrk agreed to go meet Ichigo's family. Ichigo said that his younger sisters' boyfriends would be there as well, so at least he wouldn't feel totally out of sorts. Ichigo warned him ahead of time about what he should expect from his family and Starrk really hoped that he was exaggerating.

Of course Ichigo wasn't. The second that his boyfriend rang the doorbell, a man came flying out to kick Ichigo in the face. Ichigo bent back slightly to avoid it and caught the leg, twisting it and throwing the man Starrk assumed was his father onto the lawn. Then Ichigo dragged Starrk inside and slammed the door, quickly locking it before his dad could come back inside.

"Whew! That was a close one," Ichigo said and grinned at Starrk who felt his heart rate go up a little at the sight.

"Did you lock your father out of the house again?" An amused voice asked and Starrk turned to see a woman in her mid forties smiling at them with the same orange hair Ichigo had, but of course a lot longer.

"Mom," Ichigo greeted her happily and walked over to give her a large hug.

"Ichigo, you look even more handsome than when I last saw you," she said with a smile and stroked his hair before turning her attention to Starrk. "And you must be the very attractive boyfriend that I've heard so much about."

"Mom!" Ichigo said in mortification while Starrk grinned.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Kurosaki," Starrk said and held out his hand.

Masaki laughed and pulled him into a hug instead while she whispered into his ear. "Hurt my son and I will castrate you."

Starrk froze and when Masaki pulled away she had the same smile on her face. "Well, let's go into the living room and we can introduce you to the others."

Isshin knocked on the door loudly and rang the doorbell as he whined, "let your daddy in my pretty son. Don't be so mean to him!"

"We'll let him in later," Masaki said and Ichigo looked at her with an adoring look that made Starrk melt with the cuteness. Masaki sent him a dark look when Ichigo's back was turned and Starrk visibly gulped.

The rest of Ichigo's family members were… nice. Like Ichigo had said before, Karin and Yuzu were twins, but they looked nothing alike. Karin was stoic and held herself confidently, but smiled and laughed readily when her family or boyfriend spoke to her. Yuzu was quiet, but full of smiles and cheerfulness not matter what.

He also met Hitsuguya and Jinta who were Karin and Yuzu's boyfriends respectively. Hitsuguya matched Karin's personality perfectly with her bluntness making his coldness practically obsolete. Neither of them really seemed to notice, though… and they were both very much. Jinta bowed to Yuzu's every whim and thought, although Yuzu didn't take advantage of it. She didn't even seem aware of it, and adored him just as much as he adored her.

When Ichigo went to go help his mom with dinner (and let his dad back in) Yuzu and Karin rounded on him instantly. Even Hitsuguya and Jinta backed up slowly and looked for the nearest way to escape. They tripped over each other on their way to help set the table or whatever other excuse they could make to not be in the same room with the twins and Starrk.

"What do you want with our brother?" Karin demanded and glared at him. "He's not some toy you can just fuck and leave."

"We saw the way you looked at him," Yuzu said with a frown. "He's not like that."

"Ichigo already told me all about it," Starrk said calmly although inside he was panicking and fearful. "I won't ever pressure him into something he doesn't want to do."

"Ichigo has had this for a long time and still hasn't gotten better, even when a boyfriend he had for a year took it slowly with him," Yuzu said.

"Not that he took it slow for long," Karin interjected with a scowl. "How long are you willing to go without sex in order to stay with Ichigo?"

"Forever," Starrk said seriously and refused to break the staring contest he had with the twins. After a minute they both relaxed with a sigh.

"All right, we will trust you for now. However if you ever hurt our brother we will castrate you. Then kill you. We all know hundreds of ways to get rid of bodies so they will never be found."

Starrk swallowed thickly. It was Yuzu who said the last part and Starrk wondered if it really was always the quiet ones who were the most dangerous. The rest of the evening went well and Starrk even got used to the fights that would randomly break out, mostly in between Ichigo and his father.

After dinner they retired into the living room where Ichigo sat next to Starrk and held his hand comfortably. Starrk felt warm in the house which felt more like a home and his sleepiness took a hold of him. He soon started to doze off and ended up slumped on Ichigo's lap with a pillow underneath his head. Ichigo seemed more amused than anything, so none of the others worried about it either.

"You really like this one," Isshin said as he watched Ichigo stroked Starrk's hair, playing with the soft brown strands.

"I do," Ichigo said and smiled down at Starrk. "He grows on you."

"Well I hope that everything works out between the two of you," Isshin said and took Masaki's hand in his with a smile. "Being friends before having a romantic or sexual relationship makes all the difference."

Karin pretended to gag from the sweetness, but Yuzu gave an 'awww' sound and pecked Jinta on the lips chastely. Ichigo yawned and stretched his hands above his head, being careful not to disrupt Starrk too much.

"We'd better go, Aizen is making everyone come in early tomorrow so I want to get to bed soon and Starrk is already asleep," Ichigo said as he glanced at his watch, missing the way Isshin and Masaki stiffened at the name.

"Aizen… is the name of your boss?" Isshin asked in a serious tone that made Ichigo confused.

"Yeah. Aizen Sousuke. Why, do you know him?"

Isshin didn't answer truthfully and instead launched into a long spiel about someone named Aizen he used to drink with, but he changed the name into Yoki instead. It distracted Ichigo enough that he forgot the serious expression on his dad's face and therefore didn't think much of his mom's next question. Starrk had woken up a little bit and noted the odd tone, although he didn't think much of it at the time.

"Do you come in early to work for you boss a lot?" She asked with a soft smile and Ichigo shrugged.

"Not much… he doesn't come in very often to this branch of his company and I've never even seen him before," Ichigo said. "He has someone else managing it for him, so it's not necessary."

"Oh, well I hope he doesn't work you too hard," Masaki said and reached over to pat his cheek tenderly. "You don't come visit us nearly enough."

"I know, I'm sorry mom," Ichigo said guiltily. Starrk liked the way Ichigo acted around his mother. He was even cuter than usual!

They said their good byes and only then did Isshin and Masaki exchange a glance and go talk in the kitchen, apart from their daughters and their boyfriends.

"Aizen Sousuke," Isshin spat. "Why does he have Ichigo working for him?"

"Calm down, sweetheart," Masaki said soothingly and rubbed his arm. "The police could never prove that he had anything to do with Ichigo's kidnapping.

"You mean he managed to buy the police off," Isshin said moodily, a very rare thing for him. "Those damn people specifically named him as an accomplice and the one who…" Isshin trailed off and then pulled Masaki in a tight hug. "I worry so much about him."

"I know." Masaki reach up to stroke his hair and looked up at him with love shining in her eyes. "But we don't know for certain that he was the one who did it and it's clear that he hasn't been bothering Ichigo. We can't tell him to quit the company without explaining why and I don't want to bring up hurtful memories when it probably won't be necessary."

"I'd rather be safe than sorry," Isshin said in a wary voice and buried his face in Masaki's hair. "To think of that happening to Ichigo again…" Isshin began to cry and Masaki felt like doing so herself but she remained strong for her husband.

"We'll call Urahara-san in the morning and ask him what we should do," Masaki said firmly. "He'll know if Ichigo could handle the knowledge or not."

"Right," Isshin said and hastily wiped his tears. "Ichigo is a smart boy anyway; he could easily find work somewhere else."

Masaki and Isshin both didn't notice the figure standing by the doorway who heard the entire conversation. Karin probably knew more about what happened to Ichigo more than Ichigo himself did and she was the one who Ichigo confided in the most because he didn't want to worry their parents or Yuzu. She was levelheaded and Ichigo trusted her, and throughout all their conversations they had gotten to know each other very well.

If her parents didn't tell Ichigo about it, then she would. There was no way she would risk the chance of that happening to Ichigo ever again, even if it meant hurting him a little bit at the moment. She loved her older brother just as much as she loved Yuzu, which was saying something considering how inseparable the two were.

She would never let Ichigo be hurt again. Never.

**LINE**

**Semes can be cute, too! Very specifically Starrk, mostly because of how he interacts with his SPOILER zanpakuto Lilinette. **


	6. Chapter 6

Anon review replies- To Hannah, Lily, bossyfoodshield, Arisa, Bethany, ZombieKaiya, Ax imagine, thank you! I'm sorry I didn't individually reply to each of you, but all of them are loved and appreciated =D

Cuteuke: I am so happy for you! Let me know if I can write you an uke-Ichigo engagement present, okay?

iloveacuteuke: Muwahahaha! I would love a pic of your cute uke, and I promise not to do anything nefarious with it!

Beloved shadow of light: I have such a hard time whenever I have to go without internet, so I feel your pain.

Grinju: I appreciate your words a lot and thank you very much =)

K: I am happy that so many reviewers are sympathetic with me about my issues rather than angered, thank you =)

Airiki667: This is going to be about 10 chapters long... probably exactly. And I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Hollow way: lol! Rukia is a pretty kick ass mental ninja, watch out for her!

**This is dedicated to all of my wonderful reviewers and to Jen who I drawn so much inspiration from. I'm sorry it's so late, but my health is shitty and I feel like hell. I love to write, but I haven't been doing much of anything recently. I am also catching up on my email and reading story updates and reviews, so I will try to get to everyones!**

**Beta'd by Warrior Nun =3 Thank you so much! You rock *fist bump***

Genophobia: Chapter 6

A few days after Starrk met his parents, Ichigo arranged a get together so that Starrk and Lilinette could meet Shuuhei and Kira. Starrk was almost as nervous about it as he was meeting Ichigo's parents. Mostly because he can't choose his family, but he can choose his friends. Starrk didn't really have his own friends to invite along… too much work.

They met at the restaurant that Starrk and Lilinette co-owned, which made Starrk a little thankful because he felt more comfortable there.

"So you work as a bartender and own this place, that's pretty cool," Shuuhei said. Both he and Kira had already drunk very heartedly and Starrk hadn't even got any threats to his manhood, AKA los lobos, yet. Ichigo wasn't drunk, but he was pleasantly buzzed which made him cuddlier than normal. Starrk, however, was about to explode from need because Ichigo was so innocently curled up on his lap and resting his head on his chest.

"Ichigo really likes you, ya know…" Kira said with a hiccup and waved his hand around. "It'd break his heart if you turned out to be prick only out to fuck him."

"Ha!" Lilinette said and pointed at Kira. She was just as drunk as them, but she got even louder when she was drunk. "Let me tell you, Starrk is so in love with Berry-tan, he would give up sleep for him. Starrk loves sleeping more than anything in the world!"

"Yeah, well," Shuuhei leaned forward, his eyes unfocused as he spoke. "Ichigo likes Starrk so much he actually makes an effort to look nice for him. He never does that because he's worried his date would think Ichigo would actually want to fuck them." He hiccupped. "Or them fuck Ichigo, since he's such a god damned uke… where did we go wrong!"

Starrk raised an eyebrow and looked down at Ichigo who blushed in embarrassment and ducked his head against Starrk's chest. Starrk chuckled in response and Ichigo scowled at him as Lilinette and his friends continued to compare to see who… Starrk and Ichigo weren't even really sure anymore what they were comparing between the two.

"Ichigo's only had one serious relationship and never had any flings!"

"Starrk's only had three relationships and he told me that he couldn't get it up for them because he just wasn't interested!"

It was Starrk's turn to blush and Ichigo looked up at him curiously. He knew for certain that Starrk wasn't impotent because of all the times he felt his hard on. So did that mean Starrk was… interested in Ichigo in a way he hadn't felt for others?

The thought made Ichigo beam in happiness and Starrk bumped his nose against Ichigo's ear in a silent message. Ichigo smiled and tilted his head up to kiss Starrk chastely just as his phone began to ring. He could tell from the ring tone it was from his parents so he should probably answer it.

"Hang on," Ichigo said with a groan and answered it. "Hey, mom."

"Ichigo," Masaki said and Ichigo frowned at the strange tone. "Your father and I need to speak with you about something and I know it's your day off. Could you come over?"

"Um, sure. Is it something important?"

"Yes," she said and again there was that tone that worried Ichigo.

"Is something wrong with Karin and Yuzu?" Ichigo asked, feeling a little freaked out.

"No, no, it's nothing like that," she replied and now Starrk was listening to him closely and frowning at him in concern. "But I would rather speak with you sooner rather then later, if you can manage."

"Okay, I'll head over now, see you soon."

They exchanged 'I love you's and hung up. Ichigo's euphoric feelings disappeared instantly with anxiety. His mom wasn't one to get him stressed out for no reason, it must be something that was serious.

"What was that about?" Starrk asked and Ichigo shrugged.

"Mom has to talk to me about something… do you mind if I bail on you?"

"No," Starrk said in a sulking tone and Ichigo laughed before kissing his cheek and getting up.

"Don't let them drive, 'kay?" Ichigo said and pointed at his friends who were giggling to themselves.

"I'll call a taxi," he muttered and said goodbye while looking forlornly at Ichigo's back as he left.

"Suck it up, Starrk," Lilinette said and rapped him on the head. "You'll see him later."

"Right," Starrk said more to himself. He tried not to be too clingy with Ichigo so his boyfriend didn't get tired of him and decide to dump him. Of course Starrk didn't think Ichigo was the type to do something like that, but he wasn't going to push him, just like he would try to push the sex issue.

…

Ichigo stared at his mother and father who looked back at him in concern. It was apparent he was having a hard time dealing with what they just told him. He knew that bad things happened to him when he was younger, but he never thought Aizen Sousuke, who was now his boss, would have anything to do with it. And if he did… did that mean he only hired Ichigo because of that?

"It was never proven that he was a part of it, but they did name him as the one who helped kidnap you and the one who visited their house where they kept you in order to…" Isshin trailed off, not able to find it within himself to finish the statement.

"I need to think about this," Ichigo said and ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I can't… process it all right now."

"We understand, sweetie," Masaki said. "We just thought you should know so you could make your own decision on the issue and we could worry less about you getting hurt."

"I know," Ichigo said with a sigh and stood up from where he was seated on the couch. He mumbled a very distracted good bye to his parents and left. He felt so confused and he didn't know what to do. Should he quit the company? It was a good job and it would be ridiculous to do if Aizen hadn't done what he was accused of…

However if he _did_ do what that couple said he did, then Ichigo definitely didn't want to work for him.

Fuck, this was complicated. Just when he thought he could put his past behind him and move on, it just pops back up again. He wanted- no, he _needed _to talk to Starrk about this. He was working now, but Ichigo still had to see him.

…

Starrk wiped as glass while he tried to ignore the woman in front of him who was shamelessly flirting with him. He wasn't the least bit attracted to her, she was a woman after all, and he had Ichigo, but she didn't seem to be getting the message. She kept leaning over and showing off her large breasts and cleavage, making Starrk irritated. Who would be attracted to someone as easy as that? She wasn't even close to being as attractive as Ichigo.

Mmm, Ichigo. Starrk wondered where he was right now and if he would call him. Starrk would like that… he wanted to go up to Ichigo's apartment and watch a movie with him while snuggling and maybe kissing. With his hands above Ichigo's waist of course.

Starrk was so far into his dream world where Ichigo was in his arms and kissing him that he didn't notice the slutty woman leaning across the bar until she grabbed the front of his shirt. Then she kissed him.

…

Ichigo froze as he saw the busty woman lean across the bar and kiss Starrk, who didn't push her away. His heart clenched and tears threatened to fill his eyes. He should have known that Starrk couldn't live without sex.

Starrk, who was surprised enough to freeze up with the woman kissed him, noticed Ichigo was there staring at him in shock and sadness before turning to flee. He broke out of his frozen shock and pushed the woman away hastily, but the damage was done.

"Ichigo!" Starrk cried out and leapt over the bar to chase after him, leaving his shocked assistant to deal with the horde of customers himself. He caught up to Ichigo after two blocks and grabbed Ichigo by the arm to turn him around. He was shocked to see Ichigo actually crying and his heart sank a little.

"I should have known," Ichigo said with a sob and rubbed at his eyes frantically. "It's always the same with you men… You only want sex and when you can't get it from me you go somewhere else."

"No, no, Ichi, it's not like that," Starrk said hastily and reached out to hold Ichigo but Ichigo flinched away. "I didn't kiss her, she kissed me."

"Right," Ichigo said with a snort and sniffed a little as he rolled his eyes. "You just didn't push her away, so that makes it okay then. So tell me Starrk, how many people did you fuck when we were going out?"

Starrk felt heart broken where he heard the 'when' they were going out, like it was past-tense.

"I was just surprised by her. I wasn't even paying attention so I froze when she kissed me," Starrk said honestly and didn't let Ichigo push him away this time when he grabbed him to hug him tightly. "I don't want anybody but you."

"Liar," Ichigo cried and Starrk squeezed him even tighter. "You're just like all the rest. When you find out I really am s-scared of s-sex you go find someone e-else," Ichigo stuttered and hiccupped as he spoke. Starrk's heart felt like it was splitting in half with the pain. For the way the pieces of shits treated him before to make him think Starrk would do that, and for how it might turn out if he couldn't convince Ichigo he was being honest.

Starrk was aware then that there were actually a lot of people on the sidewalk who were giving them very funny looks as they passed. Starrk growled at them and pulled Ichigo into an alley to get some privacy at least. Thankfully Ichigo didn't think he was trying to take advantage of him.

"I love you," Starrk said as he stared into Ichigo's brown eyes which were red from tears.

"Wh-what?" Ichigo asked in surprised and his eyes widened.

"I love you," he said again and leaned down to brush his lips against Ichigo's. "I love you, I love you, I love you," Starrk chanted softly and pressed butterfly kisses along his face and neck, making Ichigo whimper. "I don't want to kiss or do anything with anybody but you."

"Do you really mean it?" Ichigo asked and Starrk's heart clenched at the hope he heard in his voice.

"Yes." Starrk kissed him again, but this time it was deeper and he pressed his entire body along the length of Ichigo's. "Do you… love me too?" Starrk asked uncertainly and Ichigo's eyes fluttered open, making Starrk gulp.

"I do love you," Ichigo said softly and looked away. "I believe you, too… I'm sorry I reacted without hearing your side of the story, I just had a bit of a shock earlier…" Ichigo's voice cracked a little with emotion and Starrk wondered what was wrong, but he could wait patiently for Ichigo to tell him himself.

"But can we talk about this later? You have to get back to your job and I think I need some time alone to think…"

"Yeah, of course," Starrk said and kissed Ichigo's soft, tangerine hair. "But will I get to see you later?" He tried not to sound too hopeful or needy, but he couldn't help it. Ichigo didn't reprimand him, however, and instead smiled up at him.

"Call me when you get off work and then come over," Ichigo said and stood on the tips of his toes to peck Starrk lightly on his lips.

"I really am sorry about earlier," Starrk mumbled and held Ichigo tightly. "I don't want anybody but you, especially not loose broads like that."

Ichigo smiled a little bit at the name-calling and hugged Starrk back just as hard. "I know, I'm sorry to, I shouldn't have assumed…" He trailed off and then pulled away reluctantly from Starrk's warm body. "Call me later, okay? It doesn't matter how late; I probably won't be sleeping tonight anyway…"

"I will," Starrk promised and allowed Ichigo to leave then made his way back to the bar. The slutty woman was still there and she pouted when she saw him.

"You left me all alone to chase after some boy toy?" She whined and was caught off guard by the venomous look Starrk gave her.

"Leave," Starrk said as he slipped behind the counter. "You're no longer welcome here." He pointed at the sign that said he had the right to refuse service and she gaped at him.

"Fuck you, asshole! Any guy would kill to have sex with a hot piece of ass like me! What are you, some kind of faggot?"

"I prefer the term Ichigo-sexual," Starrk said coolly and was very happy when the woman finally left. She had drawn lots of stares from the other patrons, but Starrk ignored him as he counted down the hours until they closed. He wanted to be with his Ichi.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE(S)**

**I know I made Starrk utterly smitten with Ichigo, but I really think that Starrk is the type to devote himself to someone who he loves. He is such a sweetie-pie… And his personality balances out Ichigo's very nicely. Starrk is just a big puppy anyway!**


	7. to continue reading my stories

**ATTENTION PLEASE ALL THOSE WHO WANT TO CONTINUE READING MY STORIES!**

It has been brought to my attention that ADMINISTRATORS of fanfiction. net have been cracking down on stories with SMUT.

As such, I do not want my stories to be REMOVED, but that is only until I can find a better site to UPLOAD my STORIES. So I would appreciate it if all of my readers would tell me, whether anonymously, through PM's or reviews, how YOU want me to deal with this situation, because I love you all and I write for YOU. Yes, I love writing and I get a lot of selfish satisfaction out of it, but right now it's YOUR OPINIONS which matters most.

So please, let me know!

And this note is very thankfully dedicated to CallMeYourLover who notified me of this issue because they didn't want my stories to be taken down. Merci Beaucoup.


	8. Chapter 7

Update: I WILL continue to write and post on this site, so don't worry. Unfortunately my thumb drive was ruined so I lost a lot of my in-progress fics I haven't posted and all my requests, so if anybody requested something from me, please request it again. My health is no longer declining- at least not as fast as it was, so I should be back in my writing mode. I've also been co-writing fics with the lovely fuzzibunniez, one of which I will be posting on my account as soon as she sends me the note she wants to add to all of my wonderful readers. I love you guys and I am so happy that you have stuck with me for so long and have been so patient =)

**Woohoo! Up to lucky number seven! Maybe Starrk could use this to his advantage… =3**

**Beta'd by ninja priestess! No wait, I mean Warrior Nun! Thanks =D**

Genophobia: Chapter 7

It was late when Starrk finally close the bar, but he still called Ichigo like he said he would. Ichigo didn't sound sleepy so Starrk went over to his place immediately. Normally Starrk would go directly home from work so he could get in as much sleep as possible, but he found himself giving up more and more of his sleep and nap time for Ichigo, which didn't bother him in the least bit.

He hoped that whatever was bothering Ichigo wasn't too bad, although he knew from earlier that it was bad enough. Starrk knocked on Ichigo's door and shifted from foot to foot nervously. When Ichigo opened the door he looked tired and stressed, but he leaned up to give Starrk a chaste kiss all the same.

"Do you want something to drink?" Ichigo asked as the water began to whistle signaling that the water was boiling.

"Whatever tea you're having is fine," Starrk called back into the kitchen. He felt antsy and wanted to talk with Ichigo now, but rushing him wasn't going to do any good.

Ichigo sat down next to Starrk on the couch and frowned, fidgeting around slightly. "I don't know how to begin… I haven't told many people about this," Ichigo said almost in a whisper. Starrk cupped his jaw and kissed him softly.

"I love you," he murmured and he could practically feel Ichigo relax.

"I love you, too," Ichigo responded and then told him everything.

Starrk cradled Ichigo in his arms when Ichigo started to cry. He had never heard the full story before and his heart clenched at the thought of what Ichigo went through. He was also very relieved that Ichigo didn't remember it, although it still affected him.

He kissed Ichigo's head and Ichigo rubbed his nose against Starrk's neck before tilting his head up to brush his lips over Starrk's. Starrk didn't hesitate to apply light pressure over Ichigo's mouth and cupped the orange-haired man's head gently yet firmly. Ichigo sighed into the kiss and Starrk felt his groin throb at the noise. Los Lobos was getting anxious.

The brunet pulled away from Ichigo who blinked up at him with teary eyes in confusion. Starrk swallowed roughly. Ichigo was very vulnerable right now and Starrk was getting erect. Starrk knew that it wasn't a good time to get a hard on when he needed to be comforting Ichigo, but apparently Los Lobos had other ideas.

"You're hard," Ichigo said, his brows furrowed.

"Yeah, sorry about that…" Starrk said gingerly and tried not to show his wince when he shifted. "I can't help it sometimes, but I promise I won't push you into anything-

Ichigo kissed him again to silence him with his hand resting on Starrk's hip. "It's okay," Ichigo said a little uncertainly and pulled away from Starrk. "I-I'm not ready for anything yet, but I want to…" He trailed off and bit his lip, looking everywhere in the room except for at Starrk. "I want to watch you do it."

Starrk stared at first, not really understanding what Ichigo was asking because they had never gone that far before.

"You want to watch me touch myself?" Starrk asked to clarify and Ichigo nodded slowly with his brow still furrowed, but his tears drying up. Starrk hesitates and frowned. "Are you sure you're okay with that?"

"Yes," Ichigo said clearly. It wasn't as firm as Starrk would have liked, but Ichigo's voice didn't waiver when he said it. Starrk kissed Ichigo again and this time he shifted Ichigo so he was on the other side of the couch from him.

"We probably shouldn't be touching for this, just watching," Starrk said and Ichigo nodded in agreement. Ichigo swallowed as Starrk unbuttoned his pants and pushed down his underwear just enough to get his dick out. He did it so that Ichigo wouldn't be intimidated by his size so he could hide part of himself.

He glanced up at Ichigo whose face was flushed, but his eyes were fixated on Starrk's torso. Starrk smirked ever so slightly and began to move his hand. Ichigo glanced up quickly to look at Starrk's face and turned even redder when he noticed Starrk's steady stare. Ichigo grew uncomfortable with that rather quickly and looked away again only to watch Starrk's hand move up and down quickly.

Starrk didn't know how long he was going to last with Ichigo in the same room as a voyeur. It made Los Lobos very happy and Starrk was also very happy because Ichigo wasn't panicking or anything like that.

Ichigo's tongue darted out and he licked his lips. Starrk nearly groaned at the sight of the pink appendage and his cock throbbed in his hand. He wanted to kick off his pants and give Los Lobos and Hand-San a good meeting of slick skin, but he knew that would be pushing it. Instead he stared at Ichigo and felt his groin tighten at just the thought of Ichigo looking at him.

He came, spurting the white sticky mess onto his shirt and his hand. He could care less about that at the moment though. He was coming down from his high and Ichigo was still there so what could possibly be better than-

Ichigo grabbed Starrk's wrist that aided Hand-San and stared at the sticky white substance curiously. Then he raised the hand to his mouth and his tongue flicked out to lap at his cum. Starrk stopped breathing for a second at the sight and barely noticed Ichigo's nose wrinkling at the taste.

"It's bitter," Ichigo complained and Starrk had to fight not to laugh a little.

"Sorry about that," Starrk said uncertainly. He had never apologized for the taste of his cum before.

"Can you… put it away now?" Ichigo asked and Starrk glanced up at Ichigo's face to see that he was red but not scared.

Starrk put 'it' away, and then stripped his t-shirt over his head to wipe up the mess he made. Ichigo inhaled sharply and Starrk looked over at him to see Ichigo eyeing his body appreciatively. Starrk knew that his body was in shape, it was one of the things that he actually put some effort into other than Ichigo and his sister Lilinette.

"I don't know if I have a shirt that would fit you," Ichigo said in a distracted tone and stood up suddenly to turn away from Starrk.

"Nah, I don't need a shirt to drive in, it's not like many people will see me." He stepped behind Ichigo and wrapped his arms around Ichigo's waist. Ichigo tensed at first, and then relaxed, letting his head drop against Starrk's chest.

"I don't want anybody else to see you without one, though," Ichigo said softly and turned around in Starrk's hold so they were facing each other. Starrk tried to think non-happy thoughts so Los Lobos wouldn't get ideas again about Ichigo's words. It made Starrk felt good that Ichigo was slightly… possessive over him. Also that Ichigo wanted him enough to watch him masturbate.

"I'll zip up my coat so no one will see," Starrk assured Ichigo who still frowned.

"It's so late already," he mumbled and then glanced at the couch. "Why don't you just spend the night?"

Los Lobos was already beginning to rear his head again. Down boy.

"I love you, Ichigo, so I am going to have to decline," Starrk said seriously and squeezed his boyfriend tightly before pulling away. "I'm not a saint."

"Oh," was all Ichigo said, looking both embarrassed and relieved at the same time. "I trust you not to try anything, though."

Starrk kissed Ichigo. It wasn't like the one before that was almost chaste. He nipped at Ichigo's petal-soft lips and thrust his tongue inside so they tangled together. Ichigo moaned and pressed against Starrk to deepen the kiss, ignoring the hard length that pressed against his stomach.

It wasn't something that Starrk could easily ignore, though. He wanted to grip Ichigo's hips and grind against Ichigo until they both came. It didn't help that Ichigo was hard, too. In fact, Ichigo was even pressing back against him slightly in order to gain some friction.

"Ichigo, stop," Starrk said when he pulled away. "There is only so much a man can take."

"I want you, too," Ichigo muttered and rested his head on Starrk's chest, listening to his heart beat. "It's something I'm not used to." He gently pushed Starrk and made him sit back down on the couch. Starrk was definitely not expecting Ichigo to straddle his hips and begin to tentatively rock their hips together.

"Oh fuck!" Starrk said and grabbed Ichigo's hips roughly and yanked him down. Ichigo froze and Starrk almost growled underneath his breath, but he didn't want to scare Ichigo even more. He figured that it might be easier if he let Ichigo explore and go at his own pace, but it was so damn hard for him.

After a few moments Ichigo had calmed down and he began to rock his hips against Starrk's again. It was slightly uncomfortable to just dry hump each other since Starrk was still achingly sensitive from his previous orgasm, but it felt so good that he wasn't going to complain.

"Ngh…" Ichigo moaned into his ear and clutched at his shoulders desperately. Starrk gritted his teeth and tried to distract himself by kissing Ichigo's neck.

Starrk was too close to losing control. "Ichigo," Starrk said in warning as he hugged Ichigo to him firmly. "We need to stop before I can't."

"Nooo," Ichigo whined and moved his hips faster. "I'm so close!"

Starrk snarled into Ichigo's ear and did the next best thing that would ground him. His tilted Ichigo's head to the side and sank his teeth into Ichigo's neck. Ichigo stiffened, but that was probably because he also came at the same time, his hips spasming from the pleasure while a wet spot spread in between them. Starrk came again when Ichigo shuddered against him and stroked Ichigo's hair soothingly.

"Was that okay?" He asked hesitantly and Ichigo sighed against him.

"Yeah, it felt good," Ichigo said drowsily. "If I let you stay the night, will you be good now?" Ichigo asked without bothering to pull away even the slightest bit.

"I'll be good," Starrk muttered back and then he lifted Ichigo up, carrying him bridal style into the bedroom. "Do you mind if I undress you?" Starrk asked, his thumb rubbing along the top of Ichigo's jeans.

"Uh, I think I should do that…" Ichigo said with a blush and Starrk took a few steps back, turning around to give Ichigo some privacy. His eyes found the very small reflection of a music box sitting on the dresser. Starrk swallowed as he the barest of glimpses of Ichigo's strong, lean body. Then he quickly looked away when Ichigo noticed him looking. He didn't hear Ichigo walk up behind him and he jumped slightly when Ichigo hugged him.

Just having Ichigo simply holding him felt good to Starrk. He turned around and eyed Ichigo up and down at his choice of sleep wear which was black silk pajama bottoms and a muscle tank for a top.

"Black is a good color on you, it makes your hair stand out even more," Starrk said and ruffled Ichigo's hair tenderly. Ichigo scoffed and pulled away to search through his drawers for something for Ichigo to wear.

"Here," Ichigo said and tossed Starrk a pair of baggy sweats he wore around and the washcloth he used to clean himself up with as well. Starrk caught it and smirked when Ichigo didn't make a move to turn around.

"You get to watch me but I didn't?" Starrk asked and Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"You snuck a peak, though," Ichigo said with a smug grin, but turned to walk to the bathroom, making Starrk feel a little bit put out that Ichigo wasn't going to watch.

They had taken lots of big steps in their relationship today and Starrk felt almost too excited to get to sleep. He brushed his teeth with a spare toothbrush Ichigo had and contemplated all that had happened today. He knew now why Ichigo was so afraid of sex and that her boss might be responsible, something that Starrk intended to fully investigate. Ichigo also had started to feel comfortable doing some sex stuff with him which was a very big leap.

He rinsed his mouth and went back to the living room to see what Ichigo set up for him. Nothing was there. He frowned and went into the bedroom where Ichigo was already tucked in bed.

"Do you have a spare blanket and pillow?" Starrk asked and Ichigo cracked an eye open then yawned.

"Just stay in here, it'd be stupid for you to sleep on the couch when something like this doesn't bother me anymore."

Utter adoration clenched Starrk's heart as he slipped into the bed and snuggled up behind Ichigo, laying his arm around Ichigo's waist. Ichigo made a pleased noise in the back of his throat and sighed heavily before they both drifted off to sleep in contentment.

**LINE**

**I really loved writing this chapter =) Ichigo is getting better now! Lucky number seven ;) **


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